2006 Burton un...inc 156.
Photo by Chris Del Sole
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Do snowboard graphics matter? Like the wristbands that NFL players have taken to wearing above their elbows, the graphics on a snowboard serve no practical function.
As I point out in my piece, "Before You Buy a Snowboard," there are several demands a board must meet in order to be considered the right board for you...but you won't find graphics on that list. Sometimes a board is just right for you, making its appearance non-negotiable. I'm a perfect example of this. Last year, I walked into a friend's shop (The Alpine Haus in Wethersfield, Conn.) looking for a new pair of skis. They didn't have the skis I wanted, but they did have an '06 Burton un...inc 156, a board I had tried several times the previous season and loved. The graphic is...interesting, but the price was right. I bought the board.
As for that graphic? The nose of the board features a boar's head connected to what appears to be a human heart. Below that is a sci-fi looking woman, her upper torso nearly nude save for two "pasties" (think Janet Jackson & the Wardrobe Malfunction) attached to tentacles. The tail of the board features the names of eight women, which isn't strange except the names could all easily be construed as "stage names" for exotic dancers. I won't even get into the design on the board's base!
The graphics on my board never affected me, save for one thing: I never used the board when teaching kid's lessons. Oh, and I think I offended a guy on the chair when he overheard me telling someone I thought the names on the tail of the board were all stripper's names. Turns out his wife was also named Candi! My bad bro...my...bad.